Courtesy of Jose Cuervo and Insomnia

I'm tired. Ridiculously tired in fact. I have not slept through the night since Friday, June 16. The onset of my insomnia, perhaps not so coincidentally, coincides with a wee quarrel I had with a certain someone over my recent clingy and possessive behavior...not for nothing, but HAS HE MET ME??

Let me tell you, it is no accident that 'mother' and 'smother' only differ by one letter. My whole life I've been motherly and over-attentive to the people I love. Case in point, they call me Mama at work and tell new hires that the first rule of working in the club is "Don't piss Mama off!"

At any rate, I'll attempt to get right to the point because I'd like to get into bed and NOT sleep as soon as possible. While I was frustratingly awake last night at some obscene hour of the morning I thought, oddly enough, about The Velveteen Rabbit. You remember the one about the childhood toy whose owner loved him to bits, quite literally, and that was what made the velveteen rabbit real. Well, it occurred to me that I was loving the stuffing right out of people. I love them so much I love the eyes right off their little bunny faces, the fur off their hossenpfeffer hides, and the cottontail off their rabbit rears.

The truth of the matter is that folks, especially men, like to keep their eyes, fur and tails thankyouverymuch. I've never really mastered the art of having without holding and I can make people (yes, you!) insanely angry with me. I figure one day I'll actually stop freaking menfolk out but considering my ability to be continuously kicked in the ass by life and relationships without learning my lesson and altering my behavior - it might be a while. Now, I know that you all know that all this excessive attention and fretting comes from a good place I want you to also know that I do realize how annoying it can be. I'll try to do better next time but in the meantime, the best advice I can give you is just to smile, pat me on the head (or the ass if we're cool like that) and say "Love you too."