I must admit that tonight I have one of those no sleep hangovers. I didn't drink too much last night although I did drink but we did see the sun rise and that has really left me hurting.
I went out with the boys, JoGina and Dina to the lovely Verona Inn. We started on the early side...about 5:30 and were out of there around 9 (I think although I can't be sure) and headed to the NB's place. I was on mission to secure 3 sixes and a pack of smokes for the NB who has resumed smoking after a yearlong hiatus. I was also left in charge of Jake (the BF or best friend) who was drunk out of his skull and behaving like a 6 year old. I secured the beer at the VI but when I pulled into On the Run he started having a temper tantrum that resulted in me turning into Bad Mommy yelling at him in the parking lot to "Shut the fuck up and stay in the car! I'll be right back!" Some guy in the parking lot proceeded to applaud and say "You tell him!" Two minutes later, smokes secured I returned to the car to find Jake shouting "Mommy! Mommy!" I drove to the NB's. Fast.
When we arrived we found the apartment populated by the NB, Bruce (the third of the 3 "boys" or "husbands), and, unexpectedly Jeffrey (previously known as SMF or SMS). I stowed the beer in the fridge and, as is my wifely duty, served the boys. Jake immediately got out of control and one look at the NB told me he was about to boil over. He got up, walked into the bedroom and moments later I heard the telltale sounds of him pounding the stuffing out of his heavy bag. I positioned myself in the living room blocking the entrance to the bedroom so I could keep Jake and the NB separated. I told Jakey I needed him to sit down and chill out and managed to get him settled in a chair sipping a beer and strumming a guitar.
So I hear the NB calling from the bedroom, "Li sweetheart, can you come here?" The living room erupted into laughter -- the man is beating the crap out of an inanimate object and is sweetly calling me to come in...certainly sounded like a domestic disturbance waiting to happen. Undaunted, I went into the bedroom. He grabbed me with gloved hands and said, "You know I'd never hit you or want to hurt you in any way, right?" I agreed. His next question? "Can you hold the bag?" So I wedge myself into the corner behind the bag and hold onto it while he pummels it into submission. I wasn't afraid of getting hurt but what surprises me is that I wasn't afraid of what I was seeing...this pent up rage unleashed... but all I kept thinking was how glad I was that he was getting it out.
For the next hour or so we were back and forth, alternately entertaining guests in the living room and playing Rocky in the bedroom. At one point I was sitting in the living room talking to Jake when I heard the punching again - really rapid fire. Jake looked at me and said, "I think you'd better go in there." I got up and went in. He looked at me in the oddest way and said, "I'm not someone you want to be with. I'm not someone you want around." My immediate reaction was to throw my arms around him, pull him towards me and tell him it was all ok. He crumpled like a child when I did. He melted right into me, kissed me and was, I think, seconds from tears. We stood like that a while until he finally looked up at me and said, "Ok. I'm ok now." We went back into the living room, his hands still in the fingerless practive gloves I'd gotten him.
I played hostess again, getting fresh beers and putting empties in recycling. When I got to the NB he took the beer from me, put it on the table and then held his hands up to me to take the gloves off. I took them in the bedroom and put them away. When I came back and sat down with him he was markedly calmer. Jeffrey started talking to me about my job and as soon as the NB got up to go to the bathroom Jeffrey took his seat. I was trapped in a conversation I couldn't get out of and there was too much touching involved. Frankly, I threw up in my mouth a little.
My husbands were sitting on the couch talking and kept trying to pull me back into their conversation but Jeffrey is relentless.
He just talked right over them and then, in a grand gesture that was either designed to woo me or piss off the NB or both, he insisted that he was going to send me flowers. He made a big production of it and then asked the NB for paper and a pen to write down my address. When NB went looking for it I told him to stop because "I don't want to play this game." He assured me it was harmless and that his good bud was just being nice. When Jeffrey continued to go on asking me if I wanted roses, the NB hit his point and pulled me into the bedroom. He asked me if I was ok as I'd told him previously that Jeffrey makes me uncomfortable and if he needed to say something. I said only that I don't want anything
from Jeffrey. The NB came back out and got Jeffrey talking about something else.
The fun of the evening really started when Jeffrey and Bruce left. I can't even begin to tell you what went on. The NB, Jake and I sat up until 6am talking. We talked about everything...childhood, school, marriage, therapy, parents. All I can say coming out of last night/this morning is that I really love these two men and feel very loved by them in return. I said to my mother this afternoon that we're a family in our own way...that the beauty of our bond is that in spite of our families of origin we've created a family unit with whom we're truly safe. I told them things last night that I'd been holding back for the year plus that I've known them and they told me things they've never told anyone.
It wasn't all so heavy... we laughed a lot...especially once we got close to sunrise and we were overtired and giggly. It was absolute magic. I finally fell asleep on the couch sitting up. I remember telling jake to go fuck himself a couple times so he must have woken me up. Around 5:30 Jake left and the NB locked up again and told me to go lie down...that he was going to read for a bit but all I really wanted was to be with him. We finally agreed that we'd sit together a bit and then I'd go home so we climbed into the club chair together and had an extended snuggle...might have even dozed off for a bit.
When 6:30 rolled around he kissed me and said he wanted to go shower and then try to sleep a little but that he'd be around tonight. A long, tight, fantastic hug and many kisses later I got my keys and headed for the door. He walked me down, kissed me and said, "Call me please when you get home?" I told him I'd be ok and that he'd be in the shower or asleep anyway but he insisted. It's funny, he's just recently started to insist upon a call when I get home which is so sweet. He always says, "Don't expect me to answer...I just want to know you're ok" but he always does...even if just to say "Goodnight sweetpea. Love you." Funny, this is the man who's not my boyfriend.
I'm so ridiculously tired now. Tomorrow I'll tell you about how we came to create our own gang complete with street names (NB = Old Dirty Dog (aka ODD) Bruce = Rusty, Jake = Little Baby Jesus) and a secret handshake. In the meantime, I need some help coming up with my own street name...I'm told I'll have no "cred" until I get one. I'll rip off Laura and Jonathan's contest... suggest a street name, my gang will vote on it and the submitter of the winning name gets a prize.